Shadows of Pain
by Siriusly Loopy
Summary: AU. What if Remus had told Dumbledore about Sirius' Animagus form? What would have happened? This is my version. SPOILERS for PoA!
1. Confession

Remus walked slowly up to Dumbledore's office. He had something very important to tell him. Something that could help them catch Sirius Black. His best friend. No. His _former_ best friend. He didn't deserve that, or any other title, after what he had done. Not after his worst betrayal yet. And he was going to give Dumbledore the information that could possibly help him find Sirius Black sooner. It was his former best friend's biggest secret.

He was going to tell Dumbledore that his three best friends had become Animagi at the age of fifteen. That they had been accompanying a known werewolf during the full moons in their Animagus forms. It was going to be admitting that he had abused Dumbledore's trust, that he had used that trust to make his transformations easier that would be hard. Remus didn't know how Dumbledore would react to that, but it was more important that Sirius be caught. Remus _wanted_ Sirius to be caught. He wanted to see what had become of the friend he once knew, what had possessed Sirius to go to the Dark side and betray those he had called his brothers. It would be worth giving up the Marauders' greatest secret.

"Sugar quill," he said as he approached the entrance to the Headmaster's office. The eagle jumped aside, and Remus walked onto the stairs that moved steadily upward.

He knocked on the door. "Enter," a quiet voice said from inside. Remus walked in.

"Ah, Remus," Dumbledore said warmly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Remus sat down on one of the large, plump chairs in the room. "I have some information that I think will help you catch Sirius Black."

Dumbledore's smile faded. His look turned serious. He nodded at Remus. "Go on then, Remus."

Remus took a big breath, then started on his story. He told Dumbledore how James and Sirius had figured out what he was in the beginning of second year. They had accepted him for what he was, and wanted to help make his transformations easier for him. They, along with Peter, had gone into the library and read all about werewolves and had figured out that a werewolf's bite is only poisonous to humans. Animals weren't affected. So they started researching Animagi and how to become one. By fifth year, they had managed it. They immediately started following Remus into the Shrieking Shack and accompanying him while he was in wolf form. And it had helped. He had been less inclined to hurt himself while they were there. They had never registered, as far as he knew, and so Sirius could still be wandering around in his Animagus form and nobody would know it was him.

Remus swallowed. "I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner," he apologized. "I'm so sorry for not telling you at all, or for not allowing them to do that. I apologize profusely for abusing your trust." He hung his head, awaiting Dumbledore's verdict.

"I accept your apology," he said at last, "although none was needed." Remus looked up at him in surprise. A small smile was on the old man's face. "I understand why you wanted this, and I forgive you for waiting so long to tell me. Now, the climax of the story, what were the Animagus forms? All three of them, if you please."

Remus nodded. "James was a stag, Peter was a rat, and Sirius is a large, black dog. He looks like the Grim, if helps. He doesn't really have any distinguishing features, except that his eyes are the same, but that'll be hard to identify unless he's still and you're right up close."

Dumbledore nodded. "I appreciate your telling me this, and I reassure you that it will most certainly help in the search for Sirius. He will most likely be caught before this school year ends."

Remus let out a sigh. He didn't want to admit it, but he had been frightened that Sirius would try to kill him, once he killed Harry. He was the last one of the Marauders left. The last one who could tell anybody his secret. The last one he needed to kill. But he shouldn't have worried. With Dumbledore as Headmaster, nobody would have to be killed.


	2. The True Traitor

Sirius squirmed and wriggled and fought to get out of the hold of the ropes around his arms. He was innocent! And he was so close to proving it! Why couldn't these people see that he hadn't killed his best friends? That the real traitor was in the arms of a thirteen year-old boy standing right next to them? Why couldn't they see that he was innocent?

Sirius looked around at the people staring at him in disgust, anger, and triumph. They thought that he had truly betrayed Lily and James. That the had killed Peter and a street full of Muggles. They thought that he deserved to die, or suffer the Dementor's Kiss. And that was what was coming to him. They wouldn't kill him. That would be too kind. They wouldn't just take him back to Azkaban. He had escaped once, what were the odds that he could do it again, and possibly take others with him? So they would suck out his soul, so that he couldn't "hurt" another person.

Sirius looked towards his godson. Harry. He was the perfect replica of both his parents. In his eyes, he saw shock, disgust, anger, betrayal, fear… The emotions of an orphan who has just met his parents' killer.

But he had been framed! He was not to blame! What Harry didn't know was that his parents' _real_ killer was in the form of a rat, and that he was closer than he knew. Sirius was ready to _kill_ Peter! He hadn't deserved to go to Azkaban! He didn't deserve to have his soul sucked out! Peter was the betrayer! Peter was the one who deserved to rot in the filth and misery that was Azkaban! He deserved to live over and over again the deaths of his two friends.

Sirius looked once more at the people gathered to see him be eliminated, once and for all. Not one of them seemed frightened, or sorry, or upset, or worried. Snape was there. All Sirius saw in _his_ eyes was delight. Complete and utter delight. He would be happy to see Sirius gone.

Sirius stopped fighting. Not one of these people cared whether he was around anymore. They all hated him. Not one of them would listen to him. Not one of them would believe him. Except for, just maybe, Remus. How he wanted to see Remus. To see if he could persuade his old friend. If Remus forgave him, if Remus knew, then Sirius would gladly give up his soul. He just wanted to know that there was _one_ person out there who knew who the real traitor was besides Peter and Voldemort. But Remus wasn't here. Remus would probably be glad that Sirius could do no more harm, as well.

And that hurt most of all.

Sirius let out a piercing scream that embodied his frustration, fear, pain, anger, and sense of betrayal completely. His former best friend wouldn't care if Sirius didn't have a soul. His own brother. It seared Sirius' already broken heart like a whip. For that really brought it home. No one would stop the Dementor as it lowered its head to suck out his soul. No one would cry out as his limp body fell to the floor. No one would cry for him; they would rejoice.

He could feel the Dementors coming. Perhaps that's where all these miserable thoughts were coming from. There were so many of them. Maybe he'd die anyway, just because of their presence. But he knew that wouldn't happen. It was just a wish. And wishes never came true.

Sirius could feel the memories starting to emerge. He could see his parents yelling at him, James yelling at him, Remus yelling at him. He could see James and Lily's bodies lying on the floor of their ruined house. He felt a whip coming down on his back. A hand come out of nowhere and punched him in the face. Remus, disappointed, afraid, repulsed. James gave him a look that needed no explanation. He felt himself being carted off to Azkaban. Peter had framed him. He was betrayed.

All of the sudden, Sirius heard someone scream. He looked up hesitantly, assuming the Dementors were here. But what he saw surprised him beyond belief.

Peter Pettigrew stood in front of him. He was trembling all over, and was panting heavily. He glanced around at their audience. Some were gazing open-mouthed at Peter, shell-shocked. A few were trying to say something, but couldn't quite manage it, and just opened and closed their mouths repeatedly. Harry's redheaded friend had an expression of extreme disgust plastered on his face. Dumbledore seemed quite surprised, which was a rare occurrence in itself. McGonagall looked speechless. Sirius almost smiled. How he wished Remus were here to see this. Now they all knew. Sirius was innocent, at least for this one accusation.

Peter started to talk but it seemed the words got stuck in his throat. He swallowed and tried again.

"Sirius Black is innocent," he managed to squeak. "He is innocent! I am to blame. I am guilty!"

The Minister turned his pudgy face towards the man who had suddenly appeared. Then he turned to look at Sirius, whose expression was one of disbelief.

"What are you doing to him?" the Minister asked.

Sirius got angry. He opened his mouth to speak but Peter got there first.

"He's not doing anything to me. I am doing this of my own free will. Sirius Black doesn't even have a wand, how can he be doing anything to me?" He turned to look at Dumbledore who looked very confused. "Do you believe me, Professor? May I now give evidence that Sirius Black is innocent?" he said quietly. Dumbledore nodded silently.

Peter took a deep breath. He raised his voice. "I admit that I turned spy for the Dark side in the summer of 1980. Sirius managed to convince Lily and James to make me their Secret-Keeper, thinking that it was the perfect bluff. Who would suspect me? Voldemort managed to torture the information out of me, and he went to kill Lily and James and Harry. When Sirius came looking for me, I yelled that he had killed the Potters, for everyone to hear, because I was a coward. I didn't want to go to Azkaban and relive all the worst moments of my life. To give myself a distraction so that I could get away, I blasted the street behind me, and turned into a rat, I'm an Animagus, and fled into the gutters. I managed to find a Wizarding family and stayed with them for the past twelve years. They never knew what or who I was. Sirius Black is innocent, and I am guilty of every crime he is supposed to have committed."

Sirius himself was surprised at Peter's confession. _I suppose this is the Gryffindor part of him,_ he thought. He looked up at Dumbledore to see saddened acceptance. Sirius thought he knew what the old Headmaster was thinking. Even if one Marauder was claimed innocent, another was claimed guilty in his stead. Either way, one of James Potter's closest friends was the cause of his death. It was truly an awful situation. Sirius didn't like it either. But at least people knew now that he hadn't betrayed his best friends.

Dumbledore looked up at the men that had bound Sirius and nodded to them. All of the sudden, Sirius felt his hands being let free. He brought them in front of his face, and looked at them in relief. He sighed slightly. Then he brought them down and gazed at Peter. He tried to convey in a look that he didn't like what was going to happen next.

Peter knew it, Sirius knew it, everyone knew it. The Dementors were coming for Sirius, they would get Peter. Suddenly, Sirius got angry. And when Sirius got angry, he got determined. He turned around and looked at the Minister of Magic.

"If you're going to give him the Dementor's Kiss, don't," he said. Everyone looked at him in surprise, including Peter. "I wasn't given the Kiss straight off, I was sent to Azkaban. If you're going to punish Peter, punish him the way you punished me. It's only fair."

The Minister of Magic just shook his head. God, Sirius hated this man. "We have to also add to the list of crimes: framing an innocent man and deliberately tricking another Wizarding family. That makes it only _fair_ to punish him worse than we did you." Sirius' eyes narrowed. The man was mocking him. He was just proved fucking innocent, why was he being mocked by this disgrace for a man?

"That's only two more items than mine had, so he doesn't deserve the fate you're about to give him. As the one framed for twelve years, as the only one alive that he harmed, shouldn't I be the best one able to judge how much pain and damage he caused? And in being the one best able to judge, shouldn't I also be the best one to determine his punishment?" It was low, and he knew it, but it was the only thing Sirius thought would work.

The Minister looked dumbfounded, as if he didn't know whether to agree with Sirius or not. The man looked around for help from the men that he had brought with him. They seemed unable to give him help, either. "Er – I suppose so," he finally stammered.

"Then I say he doesn't get the Dementor's Kiss," Sirius said coldly.

The Minister sighed and nodded to the men. They walked up to Peter and bound his wrists together with rope and started to lead him away to an Apparition point. Before they could go very far, Sirius called out.

"Wait!"

The two men turned to look at him in confusion. The Minister seemed annoyed.

"What is it?" the Minister asked impatiently.

Sirius ignored him. He just looked at Peter. "Why?" he finally asked quietly.

To Peter's credit, he never looked away from Sirius. "For the Marauders," he said. "Voldemort said, he _promised_, that above all, you would be safe. He lied, but what I did, I did to keep you three safe from harm in the only way I thought I could."

Sirius nodded. "It was a noble intention," he said, "if done in the worst way possible. I forgive you Peter. I might've done the same thing if I'd been you. And don't argue Peter. Just accept my forgiveness. It may be the only forgiveness you ever get."

Peter nodded sadly as the Dementors took him away.

Sirius stood, rooted to the spot, until they were out of sight. The Minister sighed impatiently and fidgeted from one foot to the other.

"Well," he said. "That was certainly entertaining, to say the least."

Sirius' head whirled around and he fixed the Minister with a well-practiced glare. You don't grow up with a family like his and not learn a few things about showing your disdain for another person. "I wouldn't say that the word _entertaining_ is the best one in a case like this," he said.

The Minister quailed under Sirius' gaze and shook his head frantically. "No, of course not. My apologies. I'll be going now. You're free. There's no need for you to do anything else. I'll file all the paperwork and make sure that it gets into the newspaper. In a few years, nobody will remember that you were even considered a potential betrayer of the Potters. Yes, well, goodbye." And he strode off in the same direction that Peter had gone. Sirius watched another man leave the Hogwarts grounds. But this time he watched with disgust instead of pity. This was one man he hoped never to see again.

Finally, he turned around to face the people of Hogwarts that had been audience to the entire spectacle. Most seemed unable to speak. Some seemed pleased that there had at least been _some_ punishment tonight. Dumbledore and McGonagall looked both sad and relieved at the same time. Snape had an expression of a great disappointment on his face. Sirius couldn't read Harry's face.

Sirius didn't know what to say to these people. He didn't know them very well, except for a few, and the ones he did had known him as a killer and a betrayer of the worst kind. Suddenly, the realization that he was free and that his friend had just been taken to Azkaban rushed back to him and he collapsed to his knees. He hid his face in his hands and felt a few tears escape his eyes.

He heard footsteps come towards him and then he felt comforting hands around his shoulders. He looked up to see Professor McGonagall looking at him sadly. She tried to smile, but it faded after a while. The night had just been altogether very emotionally draining.

"Let's get you to the Hospital Wing," she said in an almost motherly way. Sirius obediently stood up and let her guide him through the throng of people and towards the castle.

Sirius walked by McGonagall's side through the castle towards the Hospital Wing. It was a very good thing that none of the students were up, otherwise the entire school would have been after him and the whole thing would have to be explained again. He really wasn't in the mood to explain things to a bunch of children anyway.

Finally, they made it to the Hospital Wing.


	3. Back in Action

Remus awoke in his office. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and leaned against his desk. He kept his eyes closed and made sure to breathe deeply. Even if he was able to keep his mind, the transformations were still filled with unbearable agony. The day seemed no different than any other, but as soon as the stars faded form his eyes, he heard a knock at the door. He frowned. It was a Saturday, would be calling?

"Come in," he managed to croak out.

To his surprise, Albus Dumbledore walked in. His face was set in the kind of look someone had when they were about to inform you of the death of a family member. Remus' heart plummeted. He was not prepared for this. It was too soon. The last time Dumbledore had given him this look was twelve years ago, when Lily and James and Peter had died and Sirius was in Azkaban for their murders. And now Dumbledore was here to tell him that Sirius had been caught and no longer had a soul.

Dumbledore smiled softly. "Sirius Black was caught just last night," Remus closed his eyes, "and now resides in the Hospital Wing."

Remus blinked. He must not have heard Dumbledore right. "I'm sorry sir, but I thought I heard you say that Sirius Black is in the Hospital wing."

"That's because I did," Dumbledore said, a slight twinkle in his eyes. "Peter Pettigrew revealed himself and admitted to committing the crimes that Sirius was accused of. He had disguised himself as a rat and stayed with the Weasley family as a pet. He was almost given the Dementor's Kiss, but Sirius convinced the Minister to just take him to Azkaban and Sirius himself is in the hospital wing, like I said before. You may go visit him, as it would probably not be a very good idea for him to walk to your office, as the students have not yet gotten their mail yet and do not know that he is innocent. I will be making an announcement to the whole school at breakfast about it today. I hope you two have a nice reunion. Good day."

And with that, he turned and walked away. Remus stared after him in utter confusion. Sirius was innocent? Peter was the traitor? But Peter was dead! This must all be a dream. But it couldn't be. He had never slept. A lie then? But Dumbledore would never lie to him. So this wasn't a dream. And it wasn't a lie.

Remus smiled joyfully. Sirius was _innocent_! He hadn't betrayed his friends. Sirius truly was a man who would rather die than betray those he loved. But Peter… how could Peter have gone to the Dark Side? He always seemed so harmless! But because of him, James and Lily were dead and Sirius had been wrongly accused for twelve years. Perhaps, maybe he wasn't as harmless as Remus had once thought.

But… at least Sirius was finally proven innocent. At least Remus had one of his friends back. He was no longer alone. He had been alone for twelve years, despised by the world, and scared for his life. This last year had made him feel both even more scared and more loved. None of the students had known what he was, so he had been liked by many of them. Especially Harry. Even if Harry hadn't known his relationship to his father, Remus had become a sort of uncle. And that was fine with Remus.

Remus walked hesitantly into the quiet Hospital Wing. He swallowed hard. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to see his old friend, he was just afraid of how Sirius would react to his presence. Remus had believed him guilty all these thirteen years. He had never even _once_ thought there might be a possibility that he could be innocent, or that Peter could be guilty.

"Ah! Professor Lupin," Madam Pomfrey exclaimed as she saw him come in. "I thought I might be seeing you sometime soon. He's asleep at the moment, but I will allow you to stay with him until he wakes up."

Remus nodded. "Thank you," he said quietly. He looked around at the beds. "Which one is he in?"

She nodded her head toward the bed farthest from the door. Its curtains were closed.

Remus took a deep, calming breath. His feet took him toward the bed with the high, white curtains.

As he pushed the curtains back, Remus prepared himself to face hi best friend once more. Too late, he realized he had been preparing to see his friend _before_ he went to Azkaban. His back was to Remus, but he could still see most of the damage. He hadn't expected pale skin, a gaunt face, bruises all over, and extremely malnourished body. His once glossy, black hair was now matted, long, and dirty. A look of pain and sadness had taken the place of his former expression of joy and mischievousness. At this realization, a tear slid down his face. For _twelve years_ Sirius had been wrongly punished, and Remus had not done anything about it.

He's safe now, though, Remus thought. He'll never have to go back there. In a few years, he'll be back to normal. I'll have my happy-go-lucky friend back again.

A slight moan came from the bed. Remus blinked as his thoughts were interrupted. Sirius' face was scrunched up as he started to wake.

Remus laid a hand on Sirius' filthy hair. "Sirius?" he whispered. Sirius' body jerked and his eyes snapped open to reveal nearly black depths underneath. A shadow of pain and suffering was reflected in those eyes.

Sirius slowly turned his head to face Remus. His eyes gazed into Remus'. Slowly the shadow dissipated and Remus was very glad to see it go.

"Remus?" Sirius asked quietly. Remus almost couldn't hear what he said.

"Yeah, Sirius, it's me," he said. A smile crossed Sirius' emaciated features. It considerably brightened his face and made him more recognizable as the man Remus once knew.

"I can't believe you came," Sirius whispered.

Remus smiled sadly, and sat down on a chair next to the bed.

"Of course I came," he said. "Why wouldn't I?"

Sirius looked down at the sheets. "I don't know," he mumbled. "It's been so long…"

Remus took Sirius' hand and pulled it into his lap. Sirius rolled over so that he could see Remus better. "You're my best friend, Sirius. I felt betrayed when I heard that you had sold Lily and James to Voldemort and then killed Peter. But," he said quickly, "now that you've been proved innocent, I'm overjoyed to see you again. There was nothing that could have stopped me from coming. I've got my best friend back. What could be better than that?"

Sirius' smile widened. "Thank you," he said.

Remus smiled. All of the sudden, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Sirius in a firm embrace. Sirius was rigid in surprise at first, but after a moment he hugged back. Remus noticed that Sirius was nearly clinging to him. After twelve years of solitude, having someone human pay positive attention to you must feel more like freedom than anything else.

When he pulled back, he saw that Sirius was crying. And as he blinked back tears of his own he knew that Moony and Padfoot were back together, and nothing could go wrong now.


End file.
